All I can say at this point is I hate this house.  Every day I spend here, a little peice of my soul dies.  I didn't quite realize how much I couldn't stand living here until I had to move back.  The only good part about it is more time with Scott.

As they were trying to destroy everything I had grown to like about myself one night, my parents told  me that they love me more than anyone ever will, more than my friends do, and even more than Steven does.  But I obviously have different veiws on love.  Love is accepting someone for who he or she is.  They really don't care who I am.  Their only concern is changing me.  They want me to be more like what they think Scott is.  Scott is more complex than they could ever imagine, and what they can't see is that he and I aren't so different deep inside.  They think that because he keeps his room clean that he is perfect.  If they could see how ideologically different he is from themselves, would they still think he is perfect?  The truth is, they don't understand any of their children, and they've never tried to understand us.  All they ever do is try to mold us into their ideals.  You can't love someone you don't know, and you don't try to change someone that you love.

I tried at one point to become what I knew they wanted.  It all felt too superficial.  I tried to tell myself that I was doing what was best for myself, but I realized somewhere along the way that none of the things I was doing really mattered to me.  Over the course of my two semesters at Concord, I learned to love myself and to be happy in my own skin.  I've come back home, and I hate myself again.  I'm selfish and insecure again.  The people who love you more than anybody else in the world really shouldn't make you hate yourself and feel insecure.

But not all bad has come from this.  I came up with a pretty cool analogy that I think I can use in a song:

My body is a coffin and you are dirt.  My soul is being buried alive.

If I were a stone, I would be: an opal. the colors on an opal change depending on your angle.  but no matter how you look at it, opals are pretty.
If I were a tree, I would be a:  sappling.  young and fresh and full of sap :)
If I were a bird, I would be an: ostrich
If I were a machine, I would be a:  MAC
If I were a tool, I would be a:  pair of needle-nosed pliers, you can do ANYTHING with those things.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be a:  grass
If I were a kind of weather, I would be:  hot.  and humid.
If I were a mythical creature, I would be a: dragon
If I were a musical instrument, I would be a: trumpet
If I were a color, I would be: blue
If I were an emotion, I would be:  confusion
If I were a vegetable, I would be a: potato
If I were a sound, I would be: PING!
If I were an element, I would be: air
If I were a car, I would be: a mid-90s cavelier
If I were a song, I would be: edgy.  with creative chord progressions.
If I were a movie, I would be: a Monty Python film.
If I were a food, I would be: shrimp
If I were a place, I would be: private and obscure.
If I were a material, I would be: soft
If I were a taste, I would be: sweet
If I were a scent, I would be:  fresh air
If I were a word, I would be: hablaba
If I were an object, I would be a: paper clip.
If I were a body part I would be: ears
If I were a facial expression I would be: surprise
If I were a subject in school I would be: philosophy
If I were a cartoon character I would be: GIR
If I were a shape I would be a: circle
If I were a number I would be: 42, AKA the answer to the question of life and everything
If I were a month I would be: October
If I were a day of the week I'd be: Friday
If I were a time of day I'd be: mid afternoon
If I were a planet I would be: fictional
If I were a direction I would be: wrong
If I were a piece of furniture I'd be a: sofa
If I were a sin I would be:  gluttony
If I were a historical figure I would be: nelson mandela
If I were a liquid I would be: orange juice